BUSH APPOINTS WOLFOWITZ MAYOR OF BAGHDAD


Washington — At a hearing of the U.S.House of Representatives yesterday, a North Carolina member, Rep.Walter Jones (R) NC, proposed a solution to “end the hopeless involvement in Iraq in which we find ourselves.”

” Now that Paul Wolfowitz is unemployed, and his fellow war hawk, Richard Perle, is also looking for a job, I suggest that we appoint Wolfowitz as Mayor of Baghdad, and Perle, Vice-Mayor. These two neocons got us into the war without much difficulty; perhaps they can use the same skills to get us out.”


Jones was initially a staunch supporter of the American invasion, but he has since recanted, and become one of few anti-war Republican voices in Congress. He called on the House cafeteria to rename French fries to “freedom fries” to protest France’s lack of support for the US invasion, before he switched his position on the war. “I will tell you that the American people are fed up, and I too am frustrated and fed up with the lack of progress in the war.” Jones, said at the hearing.

JUST IN…NEWS FLASH!> In a bold move to undermine the international terror network, President George W. Bush today named former deputy defense secretary and World Bank President, Paul Wolfwowitz to be Mayor of Baghdad and Richard Perle, Chairman of the Defense Policy Board, to be Vice Mayor.

” Representative Jone’s suggestion was an excellent one.” said the President, ” and it is effective immediately, as I run the show and don’t send anything anymore to Congress for their approval. Also, as both Wolfowitz and Perle are Jewish, it may stop the infighting between the Shits, Sunnys and Turds”.

Wolfowitz and Perle both accepted the President’s appointment
” I don’t think there will be any objection, as in the past, when I appoint my new girlfriend, Dixie-Mae Nukie as my private secretary when she finishes high school shortly”, said Wolfowitz.

Perle said that one of his priorities will be to shut down all the mosques, reopening them as Hebrew schools and convert the Imrans wearing kipahs to Rabbis wearing yarmulkes. “A one- religion state of compulsory Judaism will do away with all this tribal and sectarian warfare.” he promised.

Upon hearing of the President’s move, both Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and General David Petraeus voiced their approval. ” We NEVER disagree with the President!” exclaimed
Rice. “What happened to Colin Powell could happen to us!”