Unconfirmed sources report that the Bush administration has pulled off yet another diplomatic victory in the Middle East. Secret documents received by UCS reveal that Bush has agreed to sell the Statue of Liberty and Mount Rushmore to Iran in exchange for Iran agreeing to immediately halt its clandestine nuclear programs. This daring exchange is seen as a real opportunity to thaw the frigid relations between Iran and the United States. Unlike the United Arab Emirates Ports deal, this agreement is not excepted to meet any resistance from the American public.
“This deal is a real win win for the American people and the people of Iran.” Said White House Spokesman Ben Lion. “The Iranians get two symbols of American freedom and America get the freedom from a nuclear armed terror state. That is a trade the President will make any day of the week. Not to mention the $450 billion we actually get for selling the properties.”
Middle East experts are scratching their heads today as the import of this agreement takes hold. The thawing of relations between America and Iran is a real milestone in the healing of the rift between the West and the Middle East. The symbolic ties this deal exemplifies bode well for the future and will cement George W. Bush’s legacy as a bridge builder between the Christian and Arab worlds.
The exact details of the planned sale are apparently still under negotiation, but the basics of the deal are that Iran will pay $450 billion for Mount Rushmore and the Statue of Liberty. In exchange for the right to purchance these landmarks Iran has agreed to suspend all further development of nuclear technologies civilian and military.