Crawford, TX (APE) – Early this morning a dispute erupted between local police and the President’s secret service detail as Mr. Bush was apparently taken into custody outside Camp Casey, the protest camp set up by noted peace activist and Gold Star Mom, Cindy Sheehan. Crawford police are reportedly considering charging the president with indecent exposure, in an incident which the White House is referring to as merely “skinny-cycling”.
In the early dawn hours, those entrenched at Camp Casey were apparently exposed to a nude President Bush as he flashed by on his bicycle followed buy a clothed security detail. Ordinarily, the White House stated, the security detail might have been “au natural” as well, in support of the president, but past experience has shown that they need clothing to conceal their automatic weaponry and other security equipment, as well as guard against chaffing.
The White House claimed that the appearance at Camp Casey was unintentional, as the president apparently took a wrong turn off of his 1,600 acre ranch.
“Riding helps clear my head, helps me deal with the stresses of the job,” Bush had told accompanying reporters on a clothed ride earlier the previous day. “What I wouldn’t give to be sixteen again!”, he yelled at one point.
The president was supplied with appropriate attire by the Crawford police upon arrival at the station. It was not clear whether the president would actually be charged, as White House legal representatives wrestled with the issue. They argued that the matter was indeed an issue of “National Security” and that, in truth, an emperor had no need of clothes.
An FBI spokesperson admitted that an investigation had been launched in order to obtain the identity of the person phoning in the 911 call informing Crawford police of the reputed incident. “Misuse or activation under false pretenses of emergency personnel is a serious offense,” stated the spokesperson.
A witness at Camp Casey, who insisted on anonymity, stated that the incident went beyond a brief “flash” by the president. “Oh, no… he actually pulled over and got off the bike… right over by the cross exhibit,” stated the witness. “And then he… well… desecrated them. I always figured that with his foreign policies and whatnot that he would be more… you know… endowed.”
The White House vehemently denied the witness’ accusations, insisting that administration leaking had long since been taken care of. The president returned to his ranch, where he is anticipating a visit with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice later this morning.