Bush Asks for More Spending on Defense, Energy, Less on Welfare

President George W. Bush is asking Congress to approve funding increases for a host of programs, from the Iraq war to tax credits for coal-fired power plants, while proposing cuts to others.

Appearing before Congress today,the President requested the members to either cut or underfund many domestic programs in order to have sufficient capital to ‘bring democracy to the Middle East, subsidize our patriotic oil companies such as Exxon and Texaco, increase energy production by removing pollution controls from our coal-burning plants and set up a new ‘Commission to debunk Global Warming (CTDGW).'”
” I know that some of you in Congress are reluctant to fund my proposals” said the President.
“You fear the Treasury is being depleted, but we can easily compensate for that by eliminating or de-funding many government subsidies and programs which I feel are unnecessary or redundant. Since American kids are obviously the smartest in the world, I am closing the Dept. of Education. School attendance will be optional.
I am eliminating Medicare, Medicaid, supplementary housing assistance for the poor, student loans, , FEMA, The Library of Congress.The Endangered Species Act,stem cell research ……”
He was interrupted as Republican Congressmen stood and burst into applause,
” Stay the course! Stay the course!”, they shouted in unison.
The President acknowledge their support with a nod and wry grin.
“It’ll be contagious,” continued the President, “we will bring democracy to Iraq, and then by force, to Afghanistan, Syria, Iran, North Vietnam, Sudan, Mexico, Russia, Venezuela, Cuba, Haiti, and Somalia..”
The President continued, but could not be heard as the Republicans; whooping, shouting, stamping and applauding approval; drowned him out.
Democratic Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, reacted angrily after the meeting. She issued a statement saying that she, and fellow Democrats, will strongly object to the President’s proposals. ” We intend to send a carefully-worded, polite, non-binding letter to the President offering our timorous disapproval!”