Bush Awarded Key to Domestic Spying

Washington, DC (Rotters) – In a small ceremony in the White House this morning, attended by a bipartisan delegation of congressional leaders, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi formally awarded President Bush a symbolic key to the NSA’s domestic spying program, asking only that the administration used it in good faith from this point on. The award comes after a weekend of last-minute wrangling in both chambers before Congress’s August recess and at the insistence of the president. The administration had symbolically insisted upon possession of the key rather traditionally leaving it under the doormat of FISA oversight.

“To their credit the Democrats finally saw reason over this issue,” stated an anonymous White House spokesperson. “No one wants to be burned over issues of domestic security during an election year. We had a gut feeling that we would be able to persuade them to see it our way.”

Democrats defended themselves against critics insisting that they had good, solid promises that Alberto Gonzales would have no administration over the program and that it would be willingly sundowned within six months.

The White House was pleased with the results and hinted that this was possible evidence that the president had not lost his magic. “He’s a uniter and not a decider,” stated an ecstatic White House source.