Unconfirmed sources report that George W. Bush has awarded the director of FEMA, Michael Brown, the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest honor that that can be given to a civilian. The surprise ceremony took place in a hanger filled with relief goods bound for the victims of hurricane Katrina. Brown becomes the first head of FEMA to win the award and is likely to be promoted to a full cabinet position in the coming months.
“Michael has done an incredible job.” said the President before the assembled press. “He is working hard and we are making progress. It’s hard work, I know that, but the brave men and women of FEMA are making progress and victory over this disaster is in sight. I’m real proud of Michael and that’s why I gave him the medal. He got the medal because I think he is doing a good job. He’s workin’ real hard, and its hard work.”
The President seemed to be backing off statements he had made earlier in the day when he said that the FEMA response was ‘unacceptable.’ White House spokesman Ben Lion spoke with reporters after the Presidents disaster tour and cleared up any apparent inconsistencies in the President’s statements.
“The President was never disappointed in FEMA’s response. He was disappointed in the response the people of New Orleans gave FEMA’s response.” explained Mr. Lion. “The President thought that the people of New Orleans should have been more thankful for the hard work that the people have FEMA have been doing on there behalf. I mean how ungrateful, FEMA sends in people and supplies and all the mayor of New Orleans can do is say ‘We need more, more, more!’, that just isn’t a nice way to speak to the Presidents choice to head FEMA.”