(UCS News, IRAQ) Now that George W. Bush is safely out of Iraq the government of Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki can get back to fighting the insurgency. Following the killing of the Al Qaeda leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the Iraq government vowed to keep the pressure on insurgents with a major Bagdad security crack down. US troops joined Iraq security teams as a curfew was called and Sunni neighborhoods swept for terror suspects. The new military campaign may just be paying off. It was announced today that an insurgent group made up of Tusken Raiders (better know as the Sand People) has called a temporary ceasefire.
In a sight never seen in Iraq, a band of Tuskin Raiders trooped into Bagdad from the western desert. The column banthas stretched for miles and caused major traffic problems on the infamous Bagdad Airport road. The scene was strange and peaceful as many Bagdad residents fled the awful smell of a thousand travel weary banthas. The Tuskin Raiders delivered a hand written message to Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, then silently disappeared back into the desert leaving behind a small mountain of bantha excrement for locals residents to clean up.
Juan Cole the noted Professor of History at the University of Michigan and Sand People expert stated ” These fearsome desert savages inhabit the rocky Jundland Wastes, Tusken Raiders are the foremost reason Iraqis do not wander far from the capital city . They are Extremely territorial and xenophobic and will attack with very little provocation. They show no allegiance to the federal goverment , as these nomads have attacked security forces and other insurgent goups alike.” Professor Cole went on to explain “It’s a positive development in the civil war but the Tuskin Raiders will likely demand major concessions to maintain the truce” And according to Professor Cole concessions the Shi’a lead government is unlikely to make.
George W. Bush was informed of the Tuskin Raider ceasefire while still onboard Air Force One returning to Washington D.C. The President stated he was pleased the Sand Peoples “triumph of hope over hate”. The Presidents mood quickly turned somber as he reminded the staff and press abroad. “We have much more work to do as long as their are groups like Al Qaeda and the Bader brigades that continue the fight against freedom.”
Much later in the flight and off the record, George W. Bush stated ‘”Hell yes I’m happy about the Sand People coming around, but those god dam Jawas will fight to the death.”