Bush Blasts Administration Policies!

Unconfirmed sources report that President Bush’s new campaign stump speech includes harsh criticism of administration policies. The new speech, which contains attacks on domestic and foreign policy, is tailored to appeal to swing voters in several key states. Veteran campaign watchers are calling the change of tactics bold and decisive.

In the speech, Bush attacks many of the administrations key policies. He leaves no room to question his commitment to changing the culture in Washington. He has sworn to reverse what he called the ‘ruinous’ fiscal and environmental polices of the current government. He even went so far as to say that he wouldn’t have invaded Iraq on faulty intelligence, unlike those in control now. Bush has made it clear that if he gets the top job thing will really be different.

“Masterful!” Said Jim Bixby of FOX News. “The president has really taken the fight to John Kerry in this campaign. He is stealing Kerry’s best issues and it seems to be working. Our polls indicate that in states where The President rails against the administration he gains lots of support. Folks want to know that a guy like George W. Bush is a fighter for the people, and that is exactly what this new speech is doing. Masterful!”

The new speech is gathering to The President many groups that have been hostile to Mr. Bush in the past. Leaders from Greenpeace, Amnesty International, The ACLU and even the Democratic Party are finding lots to like in the new Bush speech.

Gardenia Johnson, a spokesman for the Sierra Club summed up how many environmentalists are feeling about The President. “It is so good to hear President Bush speaking to our issues. When he said that ‘…not singing the Kyoto Accord was a crime against humanity…’ I almost cried. He really does care about the planet. He is one of us after all. Now, if we could get rid of the current administration we would be all set.”

“The President really surprised me.” Said challenger John Kerry. “I thought that The President was too beholden to corporate interests to really speak about how corporations are running amok. It’s glad to see that I have convinced him that the administration has been wrong on so many issues. He really seems to have a good sense for what needs to be done to change the administration. I hope to do the changing myself, but he gets in there I bet he’ll really shake the place up and do some good for America. Whomever wins is going to have a big job cleaning up after the guys who are in there now.”

Even everyday working people are now feeling that The President is one of them. “When The President said if he was elected that he would roll back the tax cuts on the rich and give some tax relief to the poor, he got my vote.” Said trucker Glenn Bobbins. “The talking heads in charge up there now have lost sight of the little guy. Who up there is fighting for us working stiffs? I know the President is on my side and if he gets up there, he is going to make my life better.”

“My dad used to say.” Bobbins continued. “Vote against the guy in office, let the other guy have a crack at it. I agree and that’s why I’m voting for President Bush.”