The White House went on the offensive today condeming the leak of the US’s war plans for Iran. The President has ordered a complete security lock down at the Pentagon to halt any more leaks of sensitive documents. The Iran war plan dubbed “The Big Right Turn” which was leaked to reporters yesterday outlines the administration’s plans to invade Iran using Iraq as a stable base of operations.”
“We are going to hunt down and kill the people responsible for the leak of this sensitive information. I mean we are going to hunt them down, give them a first class trial and then kill the people responsible for leaking these war plans.” Pledged the President during an early morning press conference. “We are taking this leak seriously and I have decided that Dick Cheney is going to spear head the operation to find those responsible. I have also ordered the Pentagon into a security lock down until we can find some one to blame for this leak.”
The Iran war plan is called “The Big Right Turn” and refers to the path American forces will take as they cross the border of Iraq to subdue Iran in the event of war. The plans call for a massive surprise attack followed by a quick run across the country to Teheran. Once the government is toppled the people of Iran will embrace the invading armies as liberators after the yoke of the democratically elected government has been cast off.
Military experts are calling the plan bold and cunning.
“This is the best war planning money can buy.” Says defense expert Kenneth Cutbert. “A surprise attack and smashing advance to Tehran will stun the Iranian government and rally the oppressed people of Iran to our cause. I love the plan, a very small force of highly experienced soldiers should be able to pull it off in a long weekend. The first few hours will be the toughest, but once the people of Iran join American forces the thing should go off without a hitch. I great mixture of the war plans for the Iraq War and the Bay of Pigs. Tis plan is a real winner.”