WASHINGTON DC —
President George Bush, acting unilaterally as Commander-in-Chief, last night, ordered the U.S. Air Force to bomb Mexico’s Capital city.
In a hastily-summoned meeting of Republican Congressmen, the President read the prepared speech, handed him. He said he was fed up with Mexicans crossing the porous southern border, and Congress doing nothing about it.
“We have finally reached a point where we gotta show them Mexicans that we mean business!”
Just off the podium, Vice President Dick Cheney rose and led the Republican Congressmen in a long round of spontaneous applause.
As the Congressmen returned to their seats, Bush continued, “I am asking Congress to immediately authorize 34 billion dollars to get our ground troops and National Guard ready to invade, should this first measure fail to discourage the illegal entry of these peasants into our country.”
Panicked residents of Mexico City, watched in terror as bombs rained down, killing and wounding thousands, and causing massive fires in the world’s most populated city.
President Hugo Chavezof Venezuela, hearing of the attack, called upon his Cabinet to immediately declare war on the United States. Peru, Columbia, Brazil and Uruguay considered similar action. Chavez ordered an immediate U.S. embargo of petroleum.
Following his speech, President Bush and his wife departed in Air Force One for a month’s vacation at their Crawford, Texas Ranch.
The President winked at Air Force One’s co-pilot Colonel Roger Kinsley as he and wife Barbara climbed aboard.
” I’m sure glad that the people are paying the six dollars and fifty cents a gallon for your jet fuel instead of me!” he joked.
Giving his usual smirk , he waved at the Mexican baggage loaders at Washington’s International Airport and entered the plane.
Loader Luis Hernando waved back. “Viva el pendejo!”