Washington, DC (APE) – Yesterday, in an apparent act of self flatulation, President George W. Bush met with presumed incoming Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. The two met at the suggestion of the president to begin charting a course for the country for the remainder of the president’s two years in office with the Democrats in charge of the legislative branch of the government, and perhaps mend fences.
“The winds of change swept through America on Tuesday,” quipped Bush, “and I guess we just couldn’t smell it coming.”
The two sought common ground on issues facing America and seemed to find real agreement in pursuit of alternative energy sources such as methane fuel production.
Pelosi complemented the president on his choice of drapes for the Oval Office, insisting that they didn’t need to be changed, and suggesting that a simple air freshener might suffice.
Bush had earlier met with current Republican leadership of the House and Senate over a breakfast of mixed fresh fruit, and blamed this meal for the intestinal discomfort that he appeared to be experiencing with Pelosi. Earlier at the breakfast Bush had presented a suggested itinerary for the remaining session of Congress, which included the confirmation of John Bolton, validation of warrantless wiretapping, and further measures designed to solidify the position of the unitary executive and offer retrograde pardons for wrongdoing.
Later in the day, the Bolton nomination appeared to have been spiked by Republican Senator Lincoln Chaffee.
A spokesperson for representative Pelosi stated that later today there would be a press conference in which Mrs. Pelosi would reveal the Democrats “First 100 Subpoenas” strategy.