Unconfirmed sources report the White House will announce that The President has had an uninterruptible power supply installed in his body. The revelations come as pictures from the first debate make it clear that president was wearing some sort of device during the event. Some people have said that The President was wearing a radio device to help him in the debate, but our sources indicate that the White House will admit that the bulge is actually an uninterruptible power supply.
Ben Lion, spokesmen for The President told reporters on deep back ground that the President had a UPS (Uninterruptible Power Supply) installed in his body several months ago. “It needed to be done. We had begun to have some power problems at the White House and we decide that installing a UPS would be a good way to protect the information contained in the President. We believe it was a necessary step to help National Security. The system seems to be working great for we haven’t had to re-boot him for several weeks now.
“It only makes sense.” Says Cliff Barns CEO of Tripp-Lite, makers of the UPS system installed in The President. “He has lots of important information that needs to be protected. I have to tell you, I’m real proud that the administration picked Tripp-Lite to do this important job. They where having problems with the Presidents default settings being kept in memory when he lost power and now he doesn’t have to work about that stuff anymore.”
“It’s a real relief to me to hear that he device was not a radio.” Said Dave Lindorff of www.salon.com. “I thought The President might have been wearing a radio set to get help during the debate. Wearing a device like that would be cheating, or at least highly lame so I’m glad to find out it was a UPS system. I think the whole country can heave a sigh of relief knowing The President didn’t need to resort to cheating to try and win the debate.”
Ben Lion, White House spokesman, dismissed the notion that The President would do something like wear a radio during a debate. “It’s sad that people think The President might cheat in a debate. Questioning the integrity of the President is just not good for the country right now. We admit that we didn’t tell the American people about he UPS system in the President, but we didn’t want the terrorists to know how we where protecting American. Now the terrorists know, because a few people out there where questioning The Presidents integrity and America is a little less safe. I hope those people are happy.”