Bush Campaign in Chaos: So Many Lies So little Time!

Unconfirmed sources report that the Bush campaign is reeling after a third debate set back. Karl Rove and Karen Hughes are openly fighting about how to proceed as the President continues to fall in the polls. Rove, the mastermind behind countless GOP smear campaigns, insists the course of action must include more lies and disinformation about John Kerry’s past and voting record. Hughes is in-favor of taking Senator Kerry’s comments out of context and bashing him in the media with lies and distortions about his policies. The two are at an impasse.

The infighting came to a head at the conclusion of the third debate. While the candidates addressed the Arizona crowd in the post debate glow, Rove and Hughes brawled back stage. Our sources report that Rove slapped Hughes across the face and Hughes kicked Rove in the crotch. The back stage fisticuffs would have been missed except the comedy channel’s Daily Show host Jon Stewart was behind the main-stage curtain hitting on the Bush twins.

“It was the best debate I have seen in years.” Raved Stewart. “I wouldn’t want to meet Karen Hughes in a dark alley, though. She is one tough broad.”

The President, normally resolute and certain, has been caught unprepared to face the facts. Paralyzed by the indecision of his staff the President has resorted to name calling and spiting out one liners that have noting to do with the issues at hand. Critics are still trying to figure out the meaning of “Liberals can run but they can’t hide”, “paygo”, and what the hell education has to do with the minimum wage.

Dick Cheney, the steadying force in the Bush camp is no help. He continues to offer his own wacko campaign strategy. “Scare the piss out of everyone with stories of the boogie man Bin Laden and declare any other view points as un-American.”

Lynn Cheney isn’t helping matters either as she suggests “Just Kill’em all and let God sort’em out!”

Once considered a strong point of the Bush reelection strategy, even The Presidents foreign policy team is unraveling. Donald Rumsfeld has been lying about how safe and peaceful Iraq has become under our occupation. Colin Powel, after using his best lies on the United Nations, has been relegated to whining about Darfur, and Condi Rice is just trying to get her name back on an oil tanker.

“These guys have got to get their act together if they are going to win this thing. They need to decide on what lies they are going to tell and they had better be good.” Says Bob Novak, the on staff liar for CNN. “I know a good lie when I hear one and I’m not hearing any out of the Bush campaign. They must really be in trouble.”