Bush Defends Decisions in Hasty Press Conference

Washington, DC (Rotters) – Bush declared that there would be “more tough fighting ahead” in dealing with the White House press corps during a seemingly spontaneous White House press conference this morning. Attendees were stunned as he fielded a tough question from senior reporter Helen Thomas, and in so many words called her a liar in front of those present. Bush has not called upon Mrs. Thomas in over three years, possibly fearing the critical questions that she has asked in the past over the war in Iraq.

Thomas apparently questioned Bush in regards to the well documented fact that he and his administration was desirous of war in Iraq well before 9/11 and the initial invasion. Bush interrupted before she finished and claiming this was untrue and that no president ever wants war.

Bush then echoed a point made in Cleveland yesterday, stressing that Americans should take whatever blood and body fluid precautions were necessary to see past the routine, daily bloodshed in Iraq. He implored Americans to avoid the natural attraction to death and destruction and instead focus upon the good being done in Iraq wherever it might possibly be uncovered. “Nobody likes war. It creates a sense of uncertainty in the country,” he said. “War creates trauma.”

Bush also took the opportunity to support his beleaguered Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld to reporters. “I don’t believe he should resign. He’s done a fine job. Every war plan looks good on paper until you meet the enemy,” he said. He then complimented the press present on being such a benign and honorable foe.

Bush then went on to elaborate in a non-specific manner about the possibility of American withdrawal from Iraq in this lifetime, hinting that he would likely be ceding that honor to a future predecessor, whoever that may be. “I’m optimistic we’ll succeed. If not, they’ll pull our troops out,” he said. “How’s that for a timetable?” he quipped with those present.

Bush further defended Rumsfeld, teasing that there might be draw downs of American forces by the end of the year, and that the infamous prison Abu Ghraib would be closing. “I’ve put Don personally in charge of inspections there and he assures me that things are going well