Bush Dismisses Criticism over Soldiers' "Teleconference"

Washington, DC (Claw News Service) – The Bush Administration angrily dismissed any sense of impropriety over the scripting of yesterday’s “Soldiers in Iraq Teleconference”. Said a petulant Mr. Bush, “I thoroughly resent any aspersions which some people may wish to cast over these brave fighting men. Sure, there was a selection process involved in who was chosen as a part of the conference, but this is just to put our best face forward to the enemy, because we are at war. It’s very offensive to me that anyone would try to imply that these brave men and women were some kind of hand picked sock puppets performing off of a propaganda script.”

Bush Addressing members of Task Force Justice

White House spokesperson Scott McClellan stated, “There are a lot of facts that needed to be kept straight for the American People, and it was therefore worthwhile to rehearse beforehand, and outside of that, nothing was “scripted” as some people want to claim.”

Captain Sid “Fozzy” Prattle, one of the men interviewed yesterday stated, “Sure there was a rehearsal, but we always do a run through before any successful mission. I fully support our Commander in Chief, because… well… he’s the Commander in Chief and those are our orders. I am a loyal soldier, and I can tell you that this mouth doesn’t even open without the guiding hand of the President.”

Captain Bunsen Canaday stated, “I thought the President was pretty tough on us, he threw us some real hardballs there. If we hadn’t had a little heads up, we would have looked pretty stupid sitting there like dummies or something.”

Staff Sergeant Cort “Gonzo” Lombardi added, “I thought the presentation was right on target. We pulled no punches and there were no strings attached. It’s not exactly Sesame Street over here, and it’s dangerous.”

Members of Task Force Justice

Also interviewed yesterday was an Iraqi liaison soldier, a Sergeant “Animal” Ikill whose last name was not divulged for security purposes. Sergeant Ikill said, “I him like much. Iraq comes again and we are proud. I vote tomorrow, and I vote George Bush. Even Saddam votes tomorrow, and we are normal. I very much proud.”

On a lighter note Captain Donald “Kermit” Smythe revealed that despite the Army’s attempt at dissuading them, he would soon be marrying Captain Clarissa “Missy” Piggleford also interviewed yesterday. They will have a brief battlefield ceremony which will be attended by family members via satellite stateside, followed by a brief honeymoon to an undisclosed location. The President called to wish the couple well today, and joked that he was looking forward to seeing many new little soldiers to help fight the war against terror. The couple has registered at Target.