Bush Gives Back $100,000 From Abramoff, Others Follow Suit

Washington, DC (Rotters) – President Bush today ordered that $100,000 contributed to his reelection campaign by Jack Abramoff be given back. Hundreds of other Republicans in the House of Representatives and the Senate have followed suit, in what appears to be an “innocence by dissociation” trend.

Refunds are pouring into the Abramoff defense fund today, and conservative estimates are that it will top the $5 million dollar level before day’s end. Assisted by bookkeepers from the Offices of Republican Representative and former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, every effort is being made to keep the defense fund as up front as possible.

White House spokesperson Trent Duffy stated, “This is just another fine example of American democracy at work. Here you have monies which have served their purpose in the streamlining of the legislative process being funneled back into the system to be put to best use.”

Duffy went on to elaborate on the White House’s position, stating that no crime had been committed by anyone through the acceptance of Abramoff’s funds. He stated that this was again an example of the way in which legal constraints were hampering the administration and the Republican Party’s ability to govern. He reiterated that in a time of War it was proper for the executive branch or its delegates to circumvent such laws.

Duffy insisted that that the country was far better off for the legislation and considerations that the funds had bought in both houses and other unnamed religious concerns. “Attempting to undo and reverse laws on the part of the Democrats is the worst form of political partisanship and legislative activism, and it will simply not be tolerated by this administration.”