Bush invites Dems and Republicans to White House to talk Iraq

Congress is set to send Bush a bill that contains a troop withdrawal timetable, which he promises to veto. Looking beyond that, the president is reaching out to lawmakers from both parties by inviting them to the White House.

Here’s a transcript of what transpired:

BUSH:> I appreciate your attendance, Democratic members of Congress, I am sure we can amicably find a solution to our impasse regarding the war in Iraq.

PELOSI (D):> Thank you for inviting us Mr. President. First I wish to say……

CHENEY (VP):> I don’t think we wish to hear what you want to say, Mrs. Speaker!

DOMENICI (D):> Mr. President, we would like to discuss bringing the troops home….

BUSH:> That’s already been decided. We aren’t bring them home.

CHENEY:> Don’t bring that up again Mr. Domenici!

ROVE:> We invited you here for a friendly discussion, but you Democrats appear to be getting aggressive. Right Mr. President?

BUSH:> Right!

CLINTON(D):> Mr. President, we have come up with a…..

CHENEY:> Shut up Hillary, we’re not interested in your opinion!

KENNEDY (D):> Just a minute, Mr. Vice President we wish to state our….

CHENEY:> You shut your mouth also, Edward!

BUSH:> Your thoughts are well taken, ladies and gentlemen, now let me give mine. We are going to keep our troops there until the Middle East is a peaceful oasis, even if it takes a hundred years, and I will veto anything else . Now let’s here your thoughts, as this is a give and take discussion.

BIDEN(D):> That may not be acceptable to the American people, Mr. President, May I………

ROVE:> We don’t give a diddly-shit what the American people say. Right George?

BUSH:> What ever you say, Karl.

Byrd(D)> Mr. President, I’ve been in the senate almost since Abe Lincoln, which gives me great wisdom and my views should be respected. This war in Iraq……

CHENEY:> Sit down, you old fart!

BUSH:> It certainly clears the air, this meeting, to hear your views. I appreciate your coming. We will certainly consider your options. Is there anything else I should say, Karl?

ROVE:> No Mr. President, your viewpoints were brilliant as usual, you read them well, and I think you better start packing for your Crawford vacation.

BUSH:> Again I thank you all for attending, There’s nothing to clear the air like a frank airing of opinions. Meeting adjourned.