Bush, Karzai: Fast Food to Help Afghans Fight Terror, Drugs

Damp Cave, MD (APE) – President Bush and Afghan president Hamid Karzai today concluded an intensive round of meetings at the Presidential retreat in Damp Cave, MD. The two emerged agreeing to disagree over a number of annoying disagreements that continue to plague the Afghan people and relations with the US. Karzai presented a rosy , yet bleak assessment of the ongoing conflict with the Taliban and the location of terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden. He at once described the Talliban as a “beaten, humiliated, and insignificant force” which would remain a tremendous threat to both the Afghan and American peoples without continued American support and intervention.

Bush announced that he would be pushing for further support for the fledgling democracy in the US Congress by way of a controversial aid package designed to increase employment and bring fast food to the Afghan population.

“We have had tremendous successes for all major franchises within the pilot program we’ve instituted in the green zone in Iraq,” announced Bush. “We have a population in Afghanistan now thats hungry and ready for work… It’s like that bible saying: “Feed a man and he’s not hungry for a day… teach everybody to feed each other and well… that’s just good business… or something like that.”

The White House announced that the first franchise to receive rights for Afghanistan would be North Carolina based Krispy Kreme donuts. “As we get more people involved in frying and eating donuts, there is going to be less time for growing opium,” said the White House spokesperson.

Critics have accused the Bush administration of simply substituting addictions.