Washington — Unconfirmed Sources has obtained from our undercover ‘mole’ in the White House, a copy of a memo signed by the President ordering the Secret Service to set up a sting operation in the Democratic National Headquarters men’s room.
Young, handsome Secret Service Agent Terry Kingsley spent the entire day yesterday in a stall at the DNH giving all the gay secret hand and foot signals to whomever entered the adjacent stall.
Democrats came and went, taking no notice of Kingsley’s efforts to entice them.
A smelly, tired Kingsley was finally arrested for lewd solicitation by Capitol Police following a complaint by Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank, who observed Kingsley’s actions from the adjacent stall late in the day.
Captain Harvey Campbell of the Capitol Police said that Kingsley would face several charges; “Impersonating a Secret Service operative, entering a restricted area, lewd conduct, and resisting arrest.”
President Bush issued a statement emphatically denying that Kingsley was a member of the Secret Service.
“All of our Secret Service operatives are upright, straight, family men who undergo a periodic rigorous background check. This filthy imposter deserves everything coming to him for casting a cloud over our fine Secret Service!”