Bush Plugs Leaky Medicare Prescription Drug Plan

Jefferson City, MO (APE) – President Bush yesterday made an appearance in Missouri to sell his new Medicare – D prescription drug benefit plan to senior citizens. Critics say the plan, much like the Bush administration itself, has been leaking like a sieve since its onset. The Bush administration now owes over 40 states millions in funding that they pledged in good faith to literally prevent seniors from dying during the transition to the controversial plan. Democrats opposed to the program have also produced figures demonstrating that in actuality it will wind up costing taxpayers $700 billion, almost twice the the low ball, massaged estimate of $400 billion over 10 years, initially floated by the White House.

“I urge people not to listen to the noise and all the politics… that’s just the system… and see whether or not this prescription drug coverage makes sense,” Bush said in Des Moines Iowa. “If you’re a poor senior with dementia, this program will make sense to you.”

“Every senior is saving money, and that’s what people have got to know,” Bush said. “And now we’re going to be asking our seniors to do their patriotic duty and give this money back so that the system can continue and more needy people can be enrolled.”

“I’m just telling you it’s a bitter pill,” the president said, “but it’s got to be swallowed because it’s good medicine for American pharmaceuticals.”

White House numbers indicate that over 29 million seniors have enrolled to date which includes 20 million seniors who were automatically enrolled under duress because their Medicaid was terminated. “We estimate, that if only half of the seniors enrolled thus far do the right thing and return their savings, the ludicrous $700 billion estimate for the program’s cost proposed by Democrats would be cut by one to two percent,” said Mark McClellan, chief Medicare official.

Bush also spent time in Missouri campaigning for Republican Senator Jim Talent, who is in a hotly contested race with Democratic State Auditor Claire McCaskill. McCaskill stated, in regards to the administration’s controversial drug plan: “I think it probably needs to be changed to Medicare Part ‘F’… I think the ‘D’ is too generous of a grade.”

Mark McClellan, the chief Medicare official, and incidentally, brother to White House spokesperson Scott McClellan immediately spun McCaskill’s criticism saying: “An ‘F’ is too harsh at this point, and I think America, and particularly its seniors now see the extra credit and bake sales that the president is willing to commit to. This is sort of like ‘no grandparents left behind’, unless it’s their time, of course.”