Bush Rapes Democrats on Spending Bills


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Rogers, AR (APE) – President Bush abused Congress on Monday for hinting at sending him a spending bill that he didn’t want, and warned lawmakers to trim their budgets or face rendition.

“You’re fixing to see what they call a fiscal blow job in Washington,” Bush told a stunned yet friendly hand-picked audience in northwest Arkansas.

“The Congress gets to propose, and if they don’t meet my standards, I get to take them however I want,” Bush said. “That’s precisely what I intend to do… over and over.”

“Congress needs to really put out for my money and they need to pass these appropriation bills — slowly and with feeling for a long time,” Bush said, smirking up and down the stage.

Earlier, Bush toured a manufacturing plant for Adam and Eve sex toys, one of the only profitable businesses that has not been outsourced internationally from Arkansas. Bush said that he wanted to remind people that the economy depends on him, since everyone serves at the pleasure of the president.

“That’s what we want,” he said. “We want people putting out in America.”