Santa Monica, CA (APE) – President Bush yesterday delivered his traditional commencement address to graduates form the West Point military academy. During the address, he framed the war on terror as the next cold war, and contrasted his dismal polls and current political situation with beloved President Harry S. Truman. Bush implied that history would remember him as the president who took the initial unpopular steps in a long and grueling “War on Terror” which would ultimately be won by another president. Ironically, the senior class, after the address, presented Mr. Bush with a plaque as a joke honoring him as the “Worst President in History”.
Class Valedictorian, newly commissioned Lieutenant Shannon Fodder stated, “We had no idea about the contents of his speech before he gave it. The plaque was meant to be a good natured joke in light of his recent polls, but I’m afraid a lot of people may take this all wrong after some of the things that he said.”
Military historians apparently cringed at Bush’s ironic self comparison to Truman who made the controversial decision to drop the world’s first atomic weapons upon the Japanese cities Hiroshima and Nagasaki in order to end World War II. Bush has consistently intimated that he would be willing to use nuclear weapons in preemptive first strikes against both Iran and North Korea, which many widely believe would lead rapidly to an all-out third World War.
Bush apparently accepted the plaque in stride. White house spokesperson Tony Snow stated, “Contrary to what a lot of people would have you believe, President Bush is not callous and uncaring, he does have a sense of humor.
Bush immediately left West Point aboard Air Force One and headed for California to continue his brief Memorial Day Vacation. The President and First Lady, upon arrival, took time out from their busy schedule to pay their respects at the Arlington West display in Santa Monica, for those killed in the Iraq war. Bush described himself as “saddened and moved” by the whole experience, saying that he was very frustrated after almost three hours of surf fishing that he hadn’t caught anything.
Bush will also be making an appearance along with the first lady tonight at a $1000 a plate appreciation dinner to raise funds for convicted California Representative Randall “Duke” Cunningham. The funds were to be utilized to defray the former representative’s family expenses, and pay for a controversial medical procedure designed to address Cunningham’s memory functioning.