Washington, DC (UPSI) – Anonymous White House sources last night claimed that the president became “unhinged” aboard Air Force One during his return from an appearance at the Grand Ole Opry House in Nashville, Tennessee. The incident occurred at about 20,000 feet with the president requiring sedation from White House physicians for his own safety and that of the crew.
The president was variously described as “drenched in sweat”, and “wild-eyed” by sources. He leapt out of his seat and began running towards the cockpit and was pulled away from banging his fists on the cockpit door. Sources stated that he kept screaming over and over, “There are Muslims on the wings, there are Muslims on wings! They’re tearing up the engines! Can’t you see them!? We’re all going to die!”
Physicians this morning speculated that it was likely a case of mild exhaustion combined with a possible malfunction in the cabin pressurization system of Air Force One. Recommendations were for the president to have an extended bike ride this morning after the effects of the anti-psychotics had worn off, and sources close to the president stated that he did not remember any of the events from the previous night.
Plans were to continue as scheduled for the president’s extended post State of Union tour in search of some sort of bounce in his ratings.