Bush Speech at NSA Met with Protest


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Washington, DC (Rotters) – The president’s campaign to avoid prosecution and frame illegal wiretapping of Americans as a necessary tool against terrorism met with an unexpected backlash at a venue that staffers assumed would be safe. President Bush spoke today at an on-site after-school care center for employees of the NSA and was met with fierce questioning and protests from the children there.

By all accounts, the speech had begun well, with the president attempting to frame his points at the level of the children present. Minutes into the speech however, half of the classroom stood up and turned their backs on the president, some holding protest signs which they had apparently made for the event. The president attempted to press on with the speech, ignoring the disruption as the Secret Service personnel appeared undecided as to what to do. The protesters largely remained silent. There were reports that an initial attempt by the Secret Service was made to drag one child from the room. This was apparently abandoned after a few severe kicks to the shin from the child in question who was then allowed to remain.

Attempting to salvage the situation, the president pressed on with an attempt at a humorous aside in regards to mandatory corporal punishment in the classroom which fell upon deaf ears.

The children quietly displayed their posters which apparently some had spent quite a bit of time on. They displayed a variety of slogans and artwork, including, “Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!”, “Bush Is a Poopy Head”, “You Are Not My Father!”, and “I Don’t Take Candy from Strangers”.

Anonymous staffers admitted that they had attempted to end the presentation early, but were sternly waved off by the president, who felt that he could salvage the appearance. The president went on to explain to the children, among other things, about how sometimes lying can be OK if it keeps your mommy and daddy from being killed.

Bush concluded the event by attempting to field questions from the children. One little girl tearfully asked, “Is my daddy going away to jail… he says that you ought to go to jail instead because he was just doing what you told him to.” Bush stated that she should be proud of her father and support him for the sacrifice that he is making for our country.

One of the child protesters, Michelle Moore, 12, of Arlington, Virginia stated, “This is just like with my dad. I’ve always wanted a pony for Christmas ever since I was like six… and he would tell me every year, “OK, if you’re real good.” It didn’t take me long to figure out that I was never going to get a pony. I want to be a lawyer when I grow up.”

Scott McClellan was in attendance for the appearance, but notably absent was Karl Rove. When asked for his opinions upon how the presentation went, McClellan offered only, “no comment”.