Bush Takes 9 Minutes to Conflate 9/11 With War in Iraq During Speech; Sets New Record!

President Bush has set a new personal best for himself and the country tonight. During his speech on the Iraq war he managed to hold off conflating the war in Iraq and the 9/11 attackers for over 9 minutes. This new mark smashes his old record of just over 6 minutes, a record set in June of 2006.

“This is a major rhetorical feat for the President.” Says former presidential speech Writer David Gergen. “He has really set a new high water mark . In past Iraq speeches it normally took 2 to 3 minutes before the President conflated the War in Iraq with the 9/11 attackers. It just goes to show what six years of seasoning can do for a President.”

This new record is direct challenge to Presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani, who’s personal best time is only 1 minutes 56 seconds. Giuliani must pick up his game if has any hope of besting President Bush in the Iraq 9/11 conflation game. Giuliani aids admit this will be difficult, but they believe that by next June, at the latest, Giuliani will be able to reach the 9 minutes mark.