Bush Takes Blame for Slow Wilma Aid, Punched by His Brother

Miami, FL (APE) – President Bush flew into Miami today to personally assess the damage in the Wake of Hurricane Wilma. After disembarking from Air Force One, he gave an impromptu speech to gathered reporters with his brother Governor Jeb Bush present in which he personally accepted the blame for the slow response of assistance after the storm. Governor Bush then became enraged as apparently the President had not realized that he had laid claim to the blame himself in an interview on the previous day. Heated words, largely unintelligible, were exchanged and to the shock of the Press in attendance, Governor Bush landed the first and only punch of the altercation.

Exclusive APE photo of Presidential altercation

The President dropped to his knees, keeled over, and was out cold for about ten minutes. Secret Service men immediately wrestled Governor Bush to the ground, and they, in turn, were wrestled to the ground by Florida State Troopers guarding the Governor.

The press was immediately ushered away from the scene, but not before APE photographer Yoseph Dood was able to capture an exclusive photograph of the punch. “Wow… “, said Dood, “That happened so fast, it was unbelievable… I just happened to be zooming in on the President’s face because it looked like something was caught between his teeth, and whamo… his brother clocked him!”

The Governor was temporarily retained in custody, but released a few hours afterwards. The brothers then continued on the days schedule of damage tours, photo opportunities, and prescreened visits with victims without incident, but the air between the two seemed strained to most observers.

White House Spokesperson Scott McClellan, in Washington, offered, “I think this is just a good example of the stress that both the President and the Governor, and all people such as doctors, police, and emergency personnel are under during a disaster. They all deserve our sympathy when systems can’t respond or are inadequate.”

When McClellan was asked by a reporter who was in charge during the ten minutes the President lay unconscious, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, who was also present, stepped forward and stated, “Well, I, of course, was in charge here at the White House. In the event of any terrorist attack, I have the authority to act immediately. The Vice President wasn’t here and was in the process of being rushed from his undisclosed location, and upon arrival, he of course would take charge.”

McClellan continued, “These are a couple of competitive, fun loving brothers, and this rivalry goes all the way back to childhood. The Governor just landed a lucky sucker punch, today, and the President won’t be fooled again. We are, however, beginning to have concerns about this “Warrior Chang” that the Governor keeps talking about.”

McClellan concluded, “We do apologize to the Governor for the mix-up in regards to blame claims, but we hadn’t realized that he had made his statement yesterday. We have been busy preparing strategies for the indictments of Scooter, and Karl, and that one just slipped under the radar screen. In the long run, there really should be enough blame to go around for everyone without anymore conflicts.”