The President took a break from his tour of the planet Mars today to give one in a series of speeches to build support for the Iran-Iraq war. The speech provided an unvarnished yet positive assessment of the Iran-Iraq situation and encouraged the American people to not lose faith in the job being done by the President and the troops.
“This speech is a very big deal for the President.” Says Washington insider Andrew Sullivan. “This is not just another lame recounting of the delusional view of the situation held by the White House, this speech outlines several new delusions that will be the basis for the Republican strategy in the midterm elections. The fact he took time away from his tour of Mars to make the speech is a measure of how important this speech is.”
The President dropped several bomb shells during the speech and plotted a new course in the war on terror, Iraq, and most likely Iran. The President reveled that Iran is behind the rash of Improvised Explosive Devices that have been killing many Iraqis and American troops. He also revealed that while conditions in Iraq look, smell and quack like a civil war, there is not a civil war taking place. The President also spoke candidly to America and warned that there was much violence blood shed and unacceptable speeding to come.
“The linkage to Iran is really the big news here.” Says White House watcher Jon Stewart. “After all this fighting in Iraq, we come to find out the Iran is actually the problem. The Iranians are building the IEDs, the Iranians are trying to build nuclear arms, the Iranians are exporting unrest into Iraq. Boy, I guess we should have just invaded Iran in the first place. We probably could have saved a bunch of money.”
After the speech the President continued his tour of Mars. Administration officials have given no signal as to when or if the President will even return to Earth.