BUSH TELLS GERMANY'S ANGELA MERKEL OF HIS GREAT DIPLOMATIC ACCOMPLISHMENTS


CRAWFORD, Texas – President Bush sought Saturday to reassure skeptical Europeans and critics at home that he remains committed to using diplomacy in dealing with Iran.

With Europeans increasingly concerned that he intends to attack Iran before he leaves office next year, Bush said the United States and its allies would “continue to work together to solve this problem diplomatically.”

” Lots of folks think I know nothing about diplomacy”, said the President. “Many can’t recall how Russian President Vladimir Putin, and I looked in each other’s eyes and saw true friendship. That was great diplomacy until he spoiled it by not taking my advice to form a USA-type democracy. I really don’t like him anymore. Remember my great friendship with Former Mexican President Vicente Fox? We were great pals due to my great diplomacy, until he called me ‘ an uninformed lightweight’ and did nothing to stop those ignorant Mexican drug pushers from coming here and taking good American jobs. I really don’t like him
either anymore. I think I’ll invite North Korean President Kim Jong II, down to the ranch and barbecue some hogs. We can become great friends if that short idiot dumps his nuclear arsenal. Don’t forget my good friend Pervez Musharraf, Pakistan’s President, We are real good buddies due to my expert diplomacy, but he better keep those Islamo-Fascists out of his country, or our friendship may be at risk. Just over here, was France’s President, Nicolas Sarkozy We immediately became great pals as a result, again, of my diplomacy. and finally, Nouri al-Maliki, Iraq’s Prime Minister…great friend! We hit it off right away! So, those who say I don’t know anything but threats and name calling are wrong. I made all these people great friends due to my skill in diplomacy, until some screwed up. If you check among the world’s leaders, you’ll find that they all think I am one great guy!” The President turned to German Chancellor Angela Merkel and smiled, ” Angie dear, you’re going to be another of my head-of-state great friends, can I give you a little hug and kiss?