CRAWFORD, TX — With all the bravado of an Ivy Leaguer crossdressed as a cowboy, President George W. Bush had a few words to say to Cindy Sheehan.
“Bring it on, Cindy!” said the President. He also added, “I’m ready for her now that I have brought in many more bodyguards to protect me.”
While some of Bush’s aides tried to temper the remarks of the President, others were cheering Bush on, with chants of “GO, W, GO!”
From his theatrical set – better known as his ranch in Crawford – the blue-blooded, costumed hack said, “We got the force necessary to deal with Cindy Sheehan, and so I can tell her to bring it on.”
When asked about his decision against using diplomacy with Cindy Sheehan, the President said, “We’ll stay the course in Crawford. We’re not leaving this place until Cindy Sheehan is kicked out, and the task is going to be a liberated Crawford, ran by me.”
Bush promised to deal harshly with anybody who threatens his poll numbers.
“Cindy Sheehan has backed me into a bit of a corner. As a result, my poll numbers are dropping, and I will have to deal with that,” President Bush decried.
White House spokesman Scott McClellan declined to comment on the situation, denying that he has heard anything about the President’s statement.
One government official, speaking on condition of anonymity, called the President’s remarks “totally inappropriate.”
“It is just a Skull and Bones thing, so everybody should just let it go and forgive the President for being so crass,” said Senator John Kerry.
The President still hasn’t given any definitive answers about whether or not he will use military force against Camp Casey.
“I’ll just say that all options are still on the table,” the President said. “I will do what is necessary to stop this Cindy Sheehan lady. I would just rather my bodyguards take care of her instead of me, since I’m not a real cowboy – I just masquerade as one, to get these dumb Texans to vote for me.”
Of course, a real cowboy would never behave like that towards a lady like Cindy Sheehan. I think the President needs better acting lessons from his pimp daddy Karl Rove.