Bush to Remove Polar Bears from Endangered Species List : Permanently

(Washington DC : Ucs News) Unconfirmed sources reports mounting criticism of the President’s environmental policy have prompted action on the issue of Polar Bear drownings. The Bush administration plans to remove the polar bears from the endangered list by making it extinct. Dick Cheney will lead the expedition.

The daily White House press briefing included EPA officials who detailed the new plan to save the polar bear from being endangered. “The President feels the polar bear situation is a tragedy in the making, so he wants to get it over with as soon as possible.”

According to EPA staffers the White House is trying avoid a lengthy and costly occupation of Arctic regions. To speed the expedition the Vice President has flow to the Arctic and as already boarded the nuclear powered Ice Breaker Polar Nemesis. The 370 Ft Polar Nemesis will be used to break up the bears ice flow home to accelerate their drowning and starvation.

Cheney being an avid outdoors-man is the perfect choice to lead the expedition.
In a teleconference from the Polar Nemesis Cheney stated this expedition would be a once in a life time chance to shoot penguins, club baby seals and run down polar bears with a nuclear powered ice breaker.

Cheney then stated “I know that we will be greeted as liberators.”