Cancun, Mexico (APE) – Tragically, four Mayan priests were killed today in an ancient purification ceremony gone horribly wrong. They were killed at the summit of the Kukulcan Pyramid in Chichen Itza, Mexico while performing an ancient ritual in honor of visiting president George Bush which would purge him of “demons and evil”.
The distraught wife of one of the priests later spoke through an interpreter and said: “I had a very bad feeling about this last night, and saw it happening in my dream. I begged my husband not to participate, but he insisted. Clearly they had no idea what they had gotten into.”
Witnesses stated that there was a rapid appearance of a huge airborn Demon when the ceremony began. It was observed to suck the life-forces instantly from the priests involved, and then, just as rapidly disappeared.
A photographer for the Mexican newspaper Inquisidor Nationale reportedly snapped a photo of the incident, but the authenticity was in doubt as of this post.
President Bush, Mexican President Vicente Fox and newly elected Canadian Prime Minister Harper were at the base of the pyramid for a photo opportunity and were apparently unaware of the tragedy that was unfolding.
The bodies of the priests were turned over for autopsy to the state medical examiner in Cancun. A preliminary statement from the coroner indicated that there was, as yet, no discernable cause of death. The statement described all four priests as normal in appearance, with no signs of trauma, but just dead. Witnesses independently verified this description, stating that the four men just appeared to be unresponsive and bushed at the scene.
The three leaders, Bush, Fox and Harper were appearing for a photo opportunity at the pyramid in Chichen Itza at the suggestion of Mexican interior minister Carlos Ponzi. The three are meeting in a NAFTA summit this week to discuss their nations’ economic plans.
White House spokesperson Scott McClellan stated, “Our sympathy goes out to the families of the priests, but it is entirely too premature to place blame for this at the feet of the President. When you worship graven images, sometimes this is just the sort of thing that can happen.”