Bush/Rice Rumors Fly

New York, NY (Rotters) – President Bush, today added more fuel to the fire in regards to a rumored illicit relationship between him and his Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. Both were attending the International UN summit meeting along with newly appointed American ambassador John Bolton. Bush is currently reeling from numerous setbacks from the war in Iraq to the unprecedented devastation of Hurricane Katrina.

Bush was noted to become somewhat intoxicated in the luncheon earlier in the day after a number of toasts.


Bush, after a number of toasts at the UN luncheon, seen winking at his Secretary of State

Bush was later noted to be very restless as the meeting progressed throughout the afternoon. Mr. Bolton and Ms. Rice seemed to struggle to keep the President focused, as he seemed to incessantly play with his translation device and slouch in his chair. Finally Mr. Bush was noted to scribble a note which he attempted to pass to Ms. Rice. Much of the contents of the note were captured by a photographer. It stated: “I think I may need a bathroom break? Is this possible…” along with what appeared to be a crude and somewhat indecent drawing.


Contents of President’s note to Ms. Rice captured by photograph

After the note was passed, The President was seen heatedly conferring with Ms. Rice. Moments later the President was seen holding out a pink box to Ms. Rice for a brief instant. It was quickly hidden away by Ms Rice and Mr. Bolton and was not apparently noticed by anyone in the assembly.


President holding out mysterious pink box

The White House refused comment and completely denied that the incident had happened. They refused to speculate about the reasons behind the need for the bathroom break. The President’s performance was noted to be adequate by those in attendance.