Business Update: George W. Bush Signs Tax Cut Into Law, DOW Tumbles 214 Points.

Following an odd tradition that has persisted throughout his presidency every time he focuses on the economy, investors celebrated President Bush’s signing of a law extending his 70 billion dollar tax cut for the wealthiest Americans for two more years by running away from the stock market in droves Wednesday, causing the Dow Jones Industrial Average to plummet 214 points, the biggest one day drop since the year 2000. The latest tumble bring the total loss in the Dow to 437 points since last Wednesday, a nearly 4% drop in the overall value of the market and bringing the Industrial Average into negative territory for the year.

This year, consumer prices have risen by more than 5% on worries by wealthy investors that soon there won’t be enough Mexicans to clean their toilets, pick the grapes for their fine wines, park their cars at expensive restaurants and weed their gardens, causing the costs of those vital services to skyrocket.

As Mr. Bush was saying “This economy of ours is hitting full stride.” the Dow was beginning it’s leap off the edge. Investors credited Mr. Bush’s economic policies for causing inflation worries, with the latest numbers in that area being described by one analyst as “rotten to the core”. With fuel oil prices rising almost uncontrollably, causing manufacturers to raise prices on goods across the board and the housing market cooling off, another analyst said, ” The whiff of inflation is feeling more like a gust.” Mr. Bush forgot to mention inflation in his speech.

While regular Americans, the ones who clean their own toilets, are writhing under crushing gas prices, Chevron CEO David O’Reilly went on television to defend his companies skyrocketing gas prices, saying, “It’s not just the little guy getting hit by these increases. Do you realize how much it’s costing for me to fly my private jet around these days? And don’t talk to me about home heating oil. The little guy lives in a 1-2000 square foot home. That’s nothing to heat. I’ve got a 7,000 square foot home, not to mention pool house and slave