California Supreme Court Offers Compromise Solution to Same Sex Marriage Ban


The California Supreme Court offered a compromise proposal to the same sex marriage ban put in place by voters in November. The proposal suggests that one of the marrying parties first switch genders then, after 6 months of marriage, be switched back again.

“Californians have stated that they do not want people of the same sex marrying”, stated California Supreme Court Chief Justice Ronald George. “To stay in compliance with the wishes of the people of California, and the Mormon Church, we insist that at the time of nuptials one party be male and the other female. However, once married for six months or longer, the party who has changed genders may switch back to his or her original gender without a change in marital status”.

The Chief Justice clarified that the current law only pertains to people who are getting a marriage license and does not affect those who are already married. In other words, people of the same sex are not allowed to get married but will be allowed to be married.”

“I hope this puts the issue to rest”, George hoped.

Both opponents and supporters of the ruling expressed displeasure with the courts decision.

“I don’t want to get my dick cut off just so I can get married!” said Jess Halpern, a Los Angeles area screenwriter.

“This doesn’t solve anything!” said Mormom church representative Lucy Pattermore. “The gays are still gonna get married!”

“Compromises always come with sacrifices for both parties”, George stated. “If you can’t settle this silly argument on your own then that’s my decision!”