"CAN'T FUND A WAR, IF WE GIVE KIDS HEALTH INSURANCE!"> BUSH

President Bush accused congressional Democrats on Thursday of playing politics with the health of children, and he warned again that he would veto a children’s insurance bill if it emerged from Congress in its present form.
The president spoke at a White House conference convened to head off political damage from Democrats who are mocking Bush’s description of himself as a compassionate conservative because of his opposition to the increased spending in the children’s insurance bill.
While he responded to an array of questions on domestic and foreign issues, Bush led off with comments about the children’s health program……….


” As you know, I’m loyal to the big HMO’s and giant pharmaceutical companies that sell you those wonderful pills on television, ” said the president, turning his usual smirk on the audience. ” If those kids, whose lazy parents say they can’t afford health insurance, would feed those pills to their kids, they wouldn’t get sick!”

“Hear, Hear!” shouted representatives of Merck, AstraZanica, GlaxoSmithKline, and Novaratis who just received word that the President approved a 200% price increase for their products.

Glancing at his teleprompter, the President continued.
” If we spent billions on health insurance for these kids whose parents can’t afford to pay the doctor because they just bought mag wheels for their pickup trucks, do you realize what affect this would have on my war of terror?” [ smirk,smirk] “Yes, if we spent our good government money on insurance for these miserable redneck kids, how would I be able to pay the fine boys of Blackwater valiantly defending the lives of our generals in the Green Zone so our fine patriotic troops can spend more time killing those heathen Islamics!”

The audience of carefully handpicked Republicans, HMO representatives and others making billions in health care rose to their feet and cheered wildly as the Marine band p layed America the Beautiful.

The President acknowledged the applause, and called Food and Drug Administration Commissioner Andrew von Eschenbach and Merck CEO Richard Clark to the podium where the ceremony concluded with Clark presenting von Eschenbach the keys to a new Cadillac Accolaide in appreciation of the FDA’s approval of the new Merck pill to cure death