Capitol Hill Pranksters Draw Ire of the President

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Washington, DC (APE) – A simple , yet sophisticated prank loomed in the night sky over the Capitol Dome last night in Washington, DC, which elicited the wrath of the Bush Administration the following morning. Apparently pranksters were able to gain access to the dome itself and succeeded in modifying the Statue of Freedom which has been in place since 1863 and recently restored. Preliminary reports indicate that some real damage to Freedom may have occurred. At the time this goes to press, no one is claiming responsibility.

White House Spokesperson Scott McClellan stated, “I have never seen the President become so angry. We are still cleaning up pieces of furniture in the Oval Office briefing room.”

Mr. McClellan added that a full investigation into the incident involving all branches of Homeland Security has been instituted. Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald will likely be reassigned today to head up the investigation.

Mr. McClellan continued, “Preliminary investigations by Capitol Police indicate that this was very likely an inside job. This is what President Bush has become so angered over. He has lost patience with the body of the senate’s failure to recognize that we are at war, and that it’s a war of ideas for the very heart and soul of our country. The President has promised to veto Senator McCain’s anti-torture amendment and he will do so. The President has also promised to devote all matter of resources to get to the bottom of this terrorist act.”

Early this morning FBI mobile units were noted to be discretely in and around the building, and rumor had it that all senators, representatives, staffers, and employees would be subjected to a battery.

An anonymous FBI spokesperson corrected that the battery mentioned referred to a lie detector test, a brief interrogation, and nothing more.