Cassini-Huygens Mission Finds Intelligent Life on Saturn

Astronomers at NASA, after reviewing pictures beamed back from the Cassini-Huygens space probe, were startled to discover massive arrays of glowing fluorescent lights emanating from the polar regions of Saturn, indicating the probable presence of highly intelligent life.

Scientists have ruled out natural phenomenon for the lights such as auroras, reflections and so forth thus leading to the inescapable conclusion that we are not alone in the solar system.

“Not only have we seen strange incandescent lights, but we have also picked up odd radio signals from the ringed planet”, said NASA Administrator Mike Griffin. “However, we do not believe they are as intelligent as we are because they are only now discovering artificial lighting which is something we have used on Earth for a hundred years!”

Griffin also pointed out that their radio signals are inferior to ours and both the lights and radio transmissions are coming only from the polar region, indicating they have not moved into the warmer equatorial regions. Also, the Saturnians do not seem to have any interest in human contact. Griffin claimed that all intelligent beings wants to communicate with other intelligent beings.

“I mean, we’re just down the street! Why don’t they want to contact us?” Griffin asked.

Griffin excused himself from the interview to give a lecture on NASA’s latest space weapons research.