In recent days, the Unconfirmed Sources illustrious investigative journalist, Dood Abides and I, have done in-depth research, on the future of Guantanamo and the fate of its detainees in wake of White House plans to close the facility.
Pursuing this further, an exclusive interview was obtained with Fidel Castro………

………regarding his plans for Guantanamo, after it is abandoned by the United States, the detainees sent to other overseas torture facilities, …and the troops injured in the war in Iraq who were sent there from Walter Reed hospital have been returned to combat in their wheelchairs.

Recovering from a recent illness, and puffing on large cigar, Castro disclosed his plans for the chunk of Cuba formerly occupied by the U.S.A.

” Most Americans are depressed, confused, and disgusted at the inept, corrupt, and incompetent misgovernment of the United States by the Republican Bush administration.” said Castro as he blew a smoke ring between us. ” We Cubans are appalled at the transition of the United States from a successful democracy to a theocratic dictatorship and have received thousands of requests from Americans asking for political asylum here. Taking a cue from the creation of the State of Israel as a haven for those fleeing the Nazi regime, we propose, in wake of White House plans to close the facility, to offer those refugees fleeing the U.S.A. and seeking a better life, the vast expanse of Guantanamo which we will rename ‘ Nuevo Nacimiento de Estados Unidos’. The torture chambers and fetid cellblocks will be demolished and replaced by modest homes, parks, playgrounds, shopping malls, hospitals and schools. Downtrodden masses in America, we welcome you!”

As the news of Castro’s offer made headlines in the United States, National Guard reserves were called out to maintain order among thousands of Americans attempting to flee to Cuba seeking a better life.

Maria Lopez, a Mexican who entered the U.S.A. illegally in 1995, was among those leaving Miami in small boats for the hundred-mile trip to Cuba. ” I thought that the United States would be the ‘tierra prometida’ (promised land), but they hate us here. I look with hope to Castro’s offer.”