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Elections

Governor Paterson Still Plans to Run Despite Everyone Hating Him

September 20, 2009 Staff

Perpetually unshaven New York Governor David Paterson fiercely proclaimed today that he was still going to run for a full four year term as governor in 2010 despite the objections of President Obama, Jesse Jackson, [Read more]

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Sarah Palin Gives Up Everything to Become Stay-At-Home Mom

October 26, 2008 Staff

Alaska Governor and Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin announced at a press conference today that she would be abandoning her bid for the Vice Presidency and resigning from her position as governor to become [Read more]

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Elections

Sarah Palin Admits Romantic Feelings for Angela Merkel

October 23, 2008 Staff

Alaska Governor and Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin admitted today that she has strong sexual and romantic inclinations towards 52-year-old German Chancellor Angela Merkel. “I admit, she makes me hot”, Palin revealed in a [Read more]

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Elections

Sarah Palin to drop puck at Blues Game in $6600 Dior Pant suit

October 23, 2008 Staff

ST. LOUIS (Ucs News) — Vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin will drop the ceremonial first puck Friday night before the St. Louis Blues’ game against the Los Angeles Kings. According Palin Staffers the Alaska governor [Read more]

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Elections

Sarah Palin Accuses Democratic Voters of Stealing Election

October 21, 2008 Staff

(Denver : Colorado) Ucs News– As early voting kicks off around the nation the embattled McCain campaign has taken aim at Obama supporters. Speaking to a crowd of dedicated supports John McCain’s Vice Presidential selection [Read more]

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Elections

McCain Robo Calls Halted : Battle Droid R2D2 Claims Responsibility

October 20, 2008 Staff

(McCain Campaign Headquarters) Ucs News– The source of millions of campaign Robo calls was discovered today. After public cries for the McCain campaign to halt the misleading and dishonest calls battle droid R2D2 admitted that [Read more]

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McCain Makes Surprise Bid For Ontario Voters

October 20, 2008 Staff

Unconfirmed sources are reporting that Republican Presidential candidate John McCain has made a surprise bid for voters in the Canadian Province of Ontario. John McCain and running mate Alaska Governor Sarah went over the border [Read more]