Trump in Hawaii During Better Times.
National News

Trump Blasts Hawaii! “Foreign Courts Have No Right to Stop Muslim Ban!”

March 15, 2017 Staff

(Hawaii)  Unconfirmed Sources report that Mr. Trump is tweeting his displeasure at the Hawaiian court that blocked the Trump Muslin Ban 2.0.  Mr. Trump took to the internets upon hearing of the ruling. “Foreign Courts Have No Right [Read more]

Uss TrumpCare Burning Out of Control.
National News

USS TrumpCare Strikes Heller’s Rock, Burns

March 12, 2017 Staff

(Chesapeake Bay) Unconfirmed Sources report that the Navy’s newest ship the USS TrumpCare struck a submerged rock and is now burning out of control.   The unlucky vessel launched last week was on sea trials [Read more]

Scott Pruitts Farting Polar Bears
National News

Polar Bear Farts Blamed for Mid-West Winter Wind Storm

March 12, 2017 Staff

(Washington D.C.) Unconfirmed Sources are reporting that Scott Pruitt has blamed Canadian polar bears for the massive wind storm that left over 1 million people without power.  Pruitt, Administrator of the Agency(formerly known as the [Read more]

Trump, Ryan and Pence Take GOP Healthcare Plan on the Road.
National News

Pence, Trump and Ryan Take Critically Ill GOP Health Care Plan on the Road

March 11, 2017 Staff

(Maryland)  Unconfirmed Sources report that Mr. Trump, Mike Pence, and Paul Ryan have taken the GOP health care proposal out on the road.  The trio checked the proposal out of the hospital early today and are taking [Read more]

GOP Heath Care Plan Rushed to Hospital!
National News

Ambulance Rushes to Capitol, GOP Health Care Proposal in Critical Condition!

March 8, 2017 Staff

(Washington D.C.) Unconfirmed Sources report that lawmakers called 911 to summon help for the ailing GOP health care proposal.  The proposal arrived at the Capitol today and immediately took ill. Speaker Paul Ryan rushed to [Read more]

Trump awards Bannon Golden Ass!
Celebrity News

Breitbart News Network Wins Best Fiction Prize for 2016

March 7, 2017 Staff

(New York)  Unconfirmed Sources report that the web site has been awarded the prestigious 2016 William Hearst Fiction Award.  The much sought after prize is awarded for the best body of fictional work in a [Read more]

Obama tapps Trump Tower Phones!
National News

Photographic Proof Obama Tapped Trump Tower Phones

March 5, 2017 Staff

(New York) Ucs News-  Unconfirmed Sources has received a photo purporting to show Barack Obama tapping the phone system inside Trump Tower. The image, a still taken from a security video, shows the President listening to [Read more]

Fire at Trump Tower
National News

Trump Tower Fire Blamed on Reality Distortion Field Generator

March 4, 2017 Staff

(New York) Ucs News- Unconfirmed sources report that the fire at Trump International Hotel and Tower in New York was caused by the overheating of a Reality Distortion Field Generator.  The New York City Fire Department responded to [Read more]

Hillary Wins 2016 Election
National News

Hillary Clinton Wins Presidential Election in Parallel Universe!

February 28, 2017 Staff

Super Collider makes Connection to Parallel Universe. (Cern, Switzerland) Ucs News  Unconfirmed Sources report that an experiment at the Large Hadron Collider has punched a hole into a nearby parallel universe.  Initial contacts with the universe [Read more]

National News

Trump wins trademark law suit, The Donald claims "Bloviating Ignoramus"

February 23, 2017 Staff

(New York:New York) Ucs News : This week it was revealed that Donald Trump has added the words Bloviating Ignoramus to the more than 200 trademark applications that contain his own name. The 200-plus number [Read more]