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National News

Lawsuit Exposes Bill O'Reily's Kinky Obsession With Falafel and Andrea Mackris!

October 20, 2004 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that Bill O’Reily’s use of falafel as an aphrodisiac has caused a run on the tasty Middle Eastern food. Middle Eastern eateries worldwide have been overwhelmed by the increase of people wanting [Read more]

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Satirist Terzella Refuses to Give up Secret Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse!

October 11, 2004 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report that world famous satirist Chuck Terzella will be going to jail for not revealing his secret White House source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse. Terzella was found to be in contempt of court for [Read more]

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Students not sure why they're rallying

October 11, 2004 Staff

Citing poor planning, lack of communication, and unconfirmed sources, a group of University of Ottawa students successfully started a rally, but failed to come up with a reason as to what they are protesting. “I [Read more]

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Philip Morris sponsors 'Start and Win' contest

October 5, 2004 Staff

New York, New York-Tobacco company Philip Morris announced yesterday the unveiling of a new ‘Start and Win’ contest. The contest, tentatively set to run for an indefinite amount of time, will encourage non-smokers to try [Read more]

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Creationist I.D.I.O.T.S. Take a Licking…From a Dog!

October 3, 2004 Staff

Unconfirmed sources report a major set back for the Discovery Institute and it’s fight to reintroduce the creation myth back into American schools. In a show trial staged for the benefit of the Ohio school [Read more]