Charlie Sheen responds to Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger: 'I'm simply saying the emperor has no c…

HOLLYWOOD — Actor and activist Charlie Sheen responded to Governor Schwarzenegger’s remarks at a news conference here in Hollywood.

“Cursory examination of the information available will reveal misfeasance, obfuscation, and inconsistencies in the government’s 911 story,” said Charlie Sheen. “I’m simply saying that the emperor has no clothes, and we need a new investigation.”

Charlie Sheen said that he finds Governor Schwarzenegger’s remarks to be self-evidently hypocritical and duplicitous.

“Schwarzenegger has a problem with actors having political views. That is inexplicable, since he is an actor himself,” Sheen said. “And to raise questions about my ‘controversial’ background. What about his controversial background?” Sheen queried.

Governor Schwarzenegger has responded to Charlie Sheen’s response, by challenging him to do more than just exposing 911.

“I am challenging Charlie to expose more than 911. I have found that the men and women that I have dated aren’t interested in brains anyways,” said Governor Schwarzenegger. “What Charlie needs to do, if he is such a man, is expose himself – like I did for Robert Mapplethorpe,” said the Governor.

Republican Party strategist Bea Crooke said she finds Charlie Sheen’s accusation that the emperor has no clothes to be irresponsible.

“Saying the emperor is naked is one thing. Saying the emperor has absolutely no clothes is another. Just because some Republicans may not wear their clothes at all times doesn’t mean they don’t have clothes,” said Bea Crooke.

FOX News personalities are saying that they doubt Charlie Sheen has the courage to accept the Governor’s challenge.

“I would love to be the judge for some sort of strip contest between Arnold and Charlie,” said FOX News talk show host Fred Barnes.

Republican Party faithful have expressed support for Scwharzenegger’s anatomy.

“Why do you think us Republicans backed Arnie in the first place? He would dance around naked for the women and the men at our social gatherings, making us feel all tingly inside,” said Republican Party activist and fundraiser Emma Faye Kerr.

“You know how Arnie is able to do so well fundraising?” asked the well-connected GOP activist Tuby Gaye. “We stick thousand-dollar bills inside of his under garments when he dances for us. He fits in very nicely with party fundraising schemes.”

Charlie Sheen said that he thinks everybody should stick to the issues, while Bush administration officials said they wouldn’t mind sticking to other things.

“Charlie and Arnie getting naked would be the perfect tool to distract people from the whole 911 stuff. How about if we stick to Schwarzenegger’s package, or school plan thingy,” said one government official, speaking on condition of anonymity.