Washington, DC (APE) – Cheney spokeswoman Lea Anne McBride admitted to reporters that yesterday, while on a hunting trip with friends, Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a lawyer out of season. The group was quail hunting at the time, and the lawyer, Harry Whittington, 78, was an old Cheney friend and member of the hunting party. A Hospital physician stated that Whittington was just slightly stunned by the accident and the injuries were very much superficial.
The accident comes on the heels of the American Bar Association’s this week pronouncing that the organization is officially against the White House’s illegal domestic wiretapping program. Witnesses say that there may have been some words exchange between Cheney and Whittington earlier in the day over this very topic.
“There is just no way that anyone can construe this other than as an accidental shooting,” stated spokeswoman McBride, “but that being said, both the president and vice president have stated openly and repeatedly that they have within their power the right to do anything, in order to preserve the safety and security of our country.”
Game wardens on hand immediately checked the vice president’s current hunting license and gun registration which seem to be in order. They did however point out that as of yesterday’s date and time lawyers are strictly out of season and that in Texas there is no overlap between quail season and lawyer season. Authorities stated that they would further investigate any impropriety.
Whittington was fortunate in that an ambulance is always on hand with a full medical team in support of the vice president’s fragile health. As a result he was rapidly cared for and transported to a local hospital. Game wardens, however, pointed out that it is illegal to hunt lawyers, even when in season, with ambulances as decoys.
Spokeswoman McBride stated that the vice president was very relieved that Whittington was okay and at this point would not alter any of his scheduled activities for tonight and tomorrow. The vice president is due in Austin, Texas to meet with the local NRA chapter and receive a lifetime safe hunters award tomorrow morning.