Metarie, LA (Rotters) – Vice President Dick Cheney made a surprise visit to New Orleans today, a day after the levee riots which occupied workers and National Guard. He inspected the damage to the levee and took into formal custody the money exposed. He went on to inspect the efforts to recover dead bodies in the area.
Problems arose as the Vice President seemed to become a severe hindrance to the performance of the cadaver dogs working the area. Dogs from miles around seemed to inexplicably home into this particular location.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Juan Delamuerta, a cadaver dog handler of five years experience. “Normally, it’s pretty easy to refocus the dogs, and get them back on the trail. These dogs have a highly trained sense of smell, that isn’t easily fooled.”
The Vice President eventually had to be escorted via Hummer from the area, after dozens of hounds and their handlers began converging. This was a rare appearance for the normally reclusive Vice President, who has refused to respond to questions over his health status recently, only announcing that he will undergo elective surgery this weekend for an aneurism in his knee. The Vice President has reputedly recovered from at least four heart attacks to date.
White House spokesperson Trent Duffy stated that the administration was concerned over the legalities of Mr. Cheney’s taking the recovered money into custody. “We had Alberto look into it,” he stated,”and apparently, it’s all legal. He can indeed take it with him.”