Cheney Regrets Hunting Accident, but not Murder, Mayhem and Death in Iraq

(Washington D.C.:UCS News) Vice President Dick Cheney made a public apology to the family of the wounded hunting partner Harry Whittington. The Vice President stated “It is with a very heavy heart that go on with the work of the American people.” Cheney went on to apologize for the attempted cover up of the accident. “Well I figured everyone would do their patriotic duty and shut up about it.” Those close to the Vice President say he feels terrible about the shooting accident but also feels those critical of his hunting skills are “Supporting terrorism”.

The Vice President does not often show regret in the face of human suffering. John O’Neil a close personal friend of the Vice President stated. “Dick and I stood together in combat in Vietnam and we will stand together in the face of this political screw up.” John O’Neil’s is an expert spreading rumors about military experience. O’Neils Swift Boat political organization has spent millions to publicize the Vice Presidents valiant war record.

But Dick Cheneys war service is far behind him now. “It’s much easier to kill people by remote control or with a pen. Using a gun feels too personal.” Cheney said to friends. The death and suffering of the Iraqi people just doesn’t seem to disturb Mr. Cheney. The Vice President has shown steely resolve when faced with the mounting death toll of American soldiers. But this accident has clearly shaken Mr. Cheney. O’Neil said this has been hard on the Vice President and the President. “It’s tough to take the loss of a high dollar Republican fund raiser like Harry Whittington.”

Of the 2267 soldiers lost in Iraq Dick Cheney has only shown remorse for only one. In 2005 Cheney admitted some regret for the death of Casey Sheehan. However those close to Vice President Cheney say his remorse is based on the fact that “Casey’s Mom Cindy Sheehan is an unpatriotic loud mouth sissy that supports terrorism.”