Childhood Obesity: An Unconfirmed Sources PSA

Medical professionals in this country are debating the wisdom of labeling overweight children as actually ‘obese’, fearing that such a moniker may “run the risk of making them angry, making the family angry,” said Dr. Reginald Washington, a pediatrician from Denver, Colorado as well as a co-chairman of the American Academy of Pediatrics obesity task force. While the prospect of thousands of pissed off little fat kids along with their equally fat parents is indeed a frightening one, this website feels someone must finally take a stand in the interest of good health.

Therefore: Yes Johnny and Suzy ( or Skye and Jared nowadays), you’re fat and disgusting little porkers. But don’t be angry; well, don’t be angry with us, because it’s all your parents fault. They let you spend your first formative years sitting in front of a television set watching Barney and Sponge Bob rather than actually taking you outside to exercise and play. When you cried, they figured the best way to shut your chubby little mouths was to stick another McDonalds French fry in it. Why? Jesus, look at them