Chinese Olympic Skull Crushing Team Trains in Tibetan Revolt

(Beijing : China) Ucs News : In preparation for the 2008 Summer Olympics The Chinese National Skull Crushing team has moved their training base to Tibetan Capital of Lhasa. According the Team manager Lee Shu Cheng “There are many more skulls to be crushed in Tibet and we need to be at our best for the Olympics.”

The event of Skull Crushing is a new Chinese addition to the Olympics. According to International Olympic committee 8 other new events including, BMX racing, Table tennis, Smog dashing and Ducking skinning will be featured. The events of freestyle oppression and student tank chasing will be exhibition only in 2008.

The Chinese National Skull Crushing team is favored to win in both the team and individuals events. Drawn from the ranks of the Chinese secret police and People Liberation army storm troopers the Chinese Skull Crushers are a well seasoned and experience squad. While Proficient in the use of many blunt weapons the official cudgel of the team is an ancient Chinese weapon, the “Shu” , a metal-headed wooden or bamboo club with a tapering tail.

The Communist Party of China revealed its steel teeth as its official new paper the People’s Daily , came out with an editorial calling for efforts to “resolutely crush” the movement for Tibet’s independence. Chinese officials admit the timing of the oppressing is troublesome but “We are crushing skulls with the ‘Olympic Spirit’ in our minds.”