New York, NY (Rotters) – The the fate of the controversial 200 pound chocolate sculpture of Jesus, entitled “My Sweet Lord” by artist Cosimo Cavallaro now seems to be unfolding just as the artist had prophesized. A spokesperson for the Lab Gallery, the temporary home for the ‘Chocolate Jesus’ stated that a prominent Southern Christian Mega Church, that wished to remain anonymous, had made arrangements to purchase the sculpture, and that it would be sacrificed during Easter sunrise services, as it had been intended by the artist.
Plans are for the 15,000 member congregation to undergo Communion, and communion wafers will be substituted with graham crackers for the sunrise service. A small bonfire will be built to combat the early morning chill, and children will be encouraged to bring their marshmallow peeps from their Easter baskets to combine with the body of Christ for communal s’mores.
“While we are supportive of the Catholic church, I suppose we’re a little more progressive,” said a spokesperson for the Mega Church. “Our congregation really has no problems with the coexistence of the traditional Christian Easter holiday with secular practices such as the Easter Bunny. What better way for our children to get a real flavor for the idea behind the sacrifice of communion. We’re reasonably sure that we have enough graham crackers to feed everyone, but the marshmallow treats right now are an unknown, and we’re hoping for a miracle.”
A spokesperson for the Lab Gallery offered praises to the congregation for their decision. “They were particularly generous during sales negotiations,” he stated. “especially in light of the fact that just like many other popular chocolate confections around this time of year, the ears and some other appendages had already mysteriously disappeared.”