Anti-masturbation crusader and Delaware GOP nominee Christine O’Donnell was hospitalized this afternoon after achieving what her doctors referred to as a “mild orgasm” at a campaign rally.
“Ms. O’Donnell is resting comfortably and her prognosis for a complete recovery is excellent”, said her physician Dr. Alex Johnson.
Sources say O’Donnell was stricken after being stimulated by the site of a black man in the audience with a ‘noticeable bulge’ in his tight jeans.
“I ignored the warning signs”, O’Donnell admitted from her hospital bed. “I felt some tingling and I knnew my breasts were becoming engorged but instead of immediately taking a cold shower I proceeded with my speech. From now on I will take better care of myself”.
O’Donnell said a microphone from under the podium came loose and struck her “just the right way” causing the unfortunate orgasm. Witnesses say she grabbed her crotch and fell to the ground as paramedics were called in.
“It could have been much worse if this happened when she was alone”, confided paramedic Sheila Steadman, the first paramedic to reach her.
O’Donnell says she will resume her hormone therapy and Bible reading to make sure this never happens again.