Climate Change Investigation Really Proves Global Warming Isn't Real (UPDATE- 1)

An independent panel, after completing a seven month long review of every email of the Climate-gate saga, during which global warming deniers (deny’ers?) had accused the Intergovernmental Panel On Climate Change (IPPC) of ‘manufacturing’ evidence that global climate change was real by manipulating data, has found that there was no question as to “the rigor and honesty” of either the scientists involved or the methods they used to arrive at their conclusions. Instead, the report suggested, the emails represented a bunch of pencil-necked geeks, squints and boffins communicating in an intellectual language that was “…informal, using slang, jargon and acronyms.”…or in other words, smart people speaking to each other in a way that the AM Talk Radio pudnits who’ve been screaming about it for the last two years could never hope to understand.

Edward Acton, Vice-Chancellor of the University of East Anglia, said, “We hope that commentators will accurately reflect what this highly detailed independent report says, and finally lay to rest the conspiracy theories, untruths and misunderstandings that have circulated,”. Once again, this is just another blatant example of the scientific community’s complete disconnect with a world inhabited by the listeners of Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, Michael Wiener of the Savage/Wiener Nation and Glen Beck (whose medications still don’t seem to be working), who will shortly be informing those listeners of the ‘conspiracy’ to cover up the lies of the first report with the ‘white-wash’ of this one. Or something like that.

Writer’s for the above mentioned radio and television talk show hosts are already busily scribbling commentaries about how “…the Liberal, Socialist and yes my friends, even Communist(!) community of so-called ‘scientists‘ will go to any length to hide the truth from clear thinking Americans, even to the point of spending seven months worth of tax-payer funded dollars (even though the whole thing took place in Great Britain- where earlier a British parliamentary committee also cleared the IPPC of manipulating or hiding data- and didn’t actually cost any American taxpayer dollars) to cover up the lies produced by the first tax-payer funded report! Ditto!”…or something like that.

Further, since the original report was submitted to the World Meteorological Organization (WMO) in 1999, “It is clearly yet another example of how the Obama Administration, with the connivance of Bill and Hillary Clinton, were using ‘manipulated’ data to undermine the actions of the George W. Bush Administration, which hadn’t been elected yet, in attempting to open up The Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR) and America’s coastline to oil drilling and so proving finally that the BP Gulf Spill is the fault of Obama’s foot-dragging and his secret agenda to make America into a Socialist nation by allowing big business to run amok without stepping in to take control of the spill while at the same time trying to take over those very same corporations and…and…um…Time for a station break.” Or something like that.

So, rather than laying to rest the conspiracy theories, this new report is actually the ‘proof’ that the conspiracy actually exists! But of course, Liberal’s will never see that, because, as Dr. Wiener of the Savage/Wiener Nation continually points out, “Liberalism is a mental disorder” and the intellectuals and politicians affected with the disease can’t see the truth that they’re being lied to, no matter how many times the lying scientists prove through careful study and calculation that the evidence and data they’ve collected is true and so therefore has to be a lie. Or something like that.